What happens when you go through your whole life and have experience after experience of people letting you down? Why trust in someone, even God, when the bad just keeps happening?
Time after time after time, while growing up, it seemed like my family gave so much to others only to be stabbed in the back or used and then tossed to the side once needs were met. I’ve had people in my life that said all the right things. You know, things like “I care. You can trust me. I’m here for you.”
I became a girl who both trusted easily yet put up walls quickly. I don’t even know if that makes sense. I WANTED to trust people. I WANTED to be accepted and loved and have loyal friendships. Yet, I have seen so many times when that trust is stepped on, ripped up, and thrown without a second thought.
Is it asking too much to be able to trust someone? Why should we take chances? Why even make an effort?
This week in my devotional time, it was about the time leading up to and including the crucifixion of Christ. He had spent his WHOLE life giving to others. Healing them. Listening to them. Encouraging them. Providing. Leading. Speaking. He never faltered in his mission of ministering, despite knowing in the end so many would turn against him. He knew this would be the end result, yet he continued his mission. He continued to offer friendship and trust. He didn’t give up or walk away when it got hard.
As humans, we are selfish. Even in our desires to help others, we have all had times of selfishness and being ignorant in our actions or lack thereof.
Do you know the story of the Exodus? Sometimes we don’t understand the “why” because we don’t see the big picture. We only see the way that makes sense to us but we don’t know what’s ahead.
In the wilderness, unbeknownst to them as to WHY they had to take the long way, the Israelites marched boldly. They had a cloud to guide them in the day and fire to guide by night. Both stayed in front of them. I mean, this story is SO GREAT! It keeps getting better!
The Lord tells them EXACTLY what to do. He told them to turn back and go camp by the sea. He knew it would make Pharaoh think he was winning but He also knew the end of the story.
Pharaoh and his army were closing in. The Israelites see them and begin worrying. Imagine if you’d been waiting for the promise of freedom to happen and just about the time you can practically TASTE it, the other foot starts to drop. How many times have you had that happen? A prayer of some sort, a dream, a desire starts to come true and BAM the story line pivots.
The Israelites saw the mighty hand of the Lord displayed against the Egyptians. They put their trust in him.
There’s more to the story after this, but I want talk about how our lack of faith doesn’t change who God is! We can choose not to trust him, we can try to think we know how something should go or turn out, but it won’t change who He is.
I don’t know about you, but there have been times I have prayed for answers to my questions. Prayed for help. Prayed for healing. Prayed for direction. Prayed for wisdom. Prayed for grace. Only, while sometimes I got those things answered, it hasn’t been every single time. I am preaching to the choir, here. But we can’t say we trust God in the good times and then question his authority and power when we don’t see the outcome we want in the time frame we expect.
The thing is, when you say you trust that doesn’t mean you trust in the outcome. You don’t trust for what you want. You trust EVEN IF. EVEN WHEN. EVEN THOUGH. Trusting doesn’t guarantee to have the ending you want. Trusting means that you follow where you are lead, you follow the pillar of cloud or fire, you follow in the wilderness, on dry ground, and without knowledge of always knowing what is coming.
God didn’t need the Israelites to show his power and glory. But he DID use them for it. He didn’t HAVE to provide but he made a promise. He held true to his word. He was trustworthy. He is always trustworthy. He never breaks a promise.
Friend, we don’t have to know it all. And that’s a GOOD THING! As a parent, I want the best for my children. I know my children trust me. That is a HUGE responsibility that I will likely mess up at some point, though unintentionally.
We may not see the pillar of cloud or fire. We may not see the jamming of the chariots. But we can trust that He will not let us down. He never has. He never will. As Moses said “we need not be afraid. The Lord will fight for us; we need only be still.”
What is it that you’re struggling with today? When you are afraid. When you are crying out in pain. You can rest in the knowledge that EVEN THEN, He loves you. He is with you. He is a faithful friend.
You’re not perfect. But He is. This will be an episode that I, myself, will likely have to listen to many times.
If you’re struggling in your homeschool, be still.
If you’re struggling in your health, be still.
If you’re struggling with anger, bitterness, confusion, doubt, faith, be still.
The Israelites weren’t perfect. They whined, complained, doubted. They felt all the things we have felt. But EVEN THEN. God was there in the middle of it all and He’s in the middle of it all with you.
I’d love to connect so make sure to subscribe so you can get alerts for new episodes. You can also find me and say hello on:
What happens when you go through your whole life and have experience after experience of people letting you down? Are we destined to let our trust be trampled on? What about when our prayers aren’t answered? Why trust in someone, even God, when the bad just keeps happening? I’ve often found myself questioning this exact thing. How can I trust when my heart gets broken? Our question today is Can we really trust God?
*Hey there! Welcome to Imperfectly Pollyanna. A podcast where we have real and honest talk while finding the positive in the imperfections whether in homeschool, faith, health, or overall life. I am your host, Courtney, and I am SO glad you are here!
When I was younger, we had a family that was very close to us. One of the daughters was called a best friend of mine at one point. Our families were close, they helped in our church, we had adventures together, sang together, spent Sunday afternoons and summers together.
Then my senior year of high school, it all fell apart. It wasn’t just some small thing that no one knew about. It was false accusations and the local news even got involved. People left the church, we had threats made, and my so-called friend had the audacity to add to the fake accusations with her own vindictive lies. It tore our lives apart. But it did not tear apart our family, which was the initial plan of the whole scheme. The affects of that situation rippled for years. And to this day, it is still something that I struggle with. I felt betrayed by people I thought would never let me down.
Time after time after time, while growing up, it seemed like my family gave so much to others only to be stabbed in the back or used and then tossed to the side once needs were met. I’ve had people in my life that said all the right things. You know, things like “I care. You can trust me. I’m here for you.” Ugh, even saying those things makes me sick to my stomach. It’s full of good intentions for some but also manipulations in others.
I became a girl who both trusted easily yet put up walls quickly. I don’t even know if that makes sense. I WANTED to trust people. I WANTED to be accepted and loved and have loyal friendships. Yet, I have seen so many times when that trust is stepped on, ripped up, and thrown without a second thought. At least it felt that way.
We are all human and we all let people down, whether intentionally or not. Even when you have people you can depend on there is the issue of loss. My best friend was killed in high school. Other friends died. Family died. Friends left. Loss, pain, betrayal…it makes it difficult to even find the energy to put effort into trusting relationships or being vulnerable enough to open up. At least that’s how I feel.
At what point do you quit trying? When do you stop expecting better from others? Is it FAIR to expect that from others when you, or I, am guilty of doing the same ourselves? Is it too much to expect another human being to live up to the expectations that none of us can hold up to?
The question is, is it asking too much to be able to trust someone? Why should we take chances? Why even make an effort?
This week in my devotional time, it was about the time leading up to and including the crucifixion of Christ. Prior to be arrested, Jesus went to the garden to pray. He was overwhelmed and his disciples, who were supposed to be his friends, went with him. While he was praying, they FELL ASLEEP! Not once but 3 times! He was about to be arrested and killed as an innocent man and his friends couldn’t be trusted to even stay awake much less pray with him. After he was arrested, another friend/disciple denies even knowing him. Not once, but 3 times! Another disciple sold his friendship to Jesus and instead of asking him for forgiveness, he admitted to wrongdoing to the ones he bargained with and then hung himself. When Jesus was offered to the people, as an innocent man, up against a real felon, the crowd turned him away. He hung on the cross and even others who were being punished with him called out against him. He had spent his WHOLE life giving to others. Healing them. Listening to them. Encouraging them. Providing. Leading. Speaking. He never faltered in his mission of ministering, despite knowing in the end so many would turn against him. Let him down. He knew this would be the end result, yet he continued his mission. He continued to offer friendship and trust. He didn’t give up or walk away when it got hard.
As humans, we are selfish. Even in our desires to help others, we have all had times of selfishness and being ignorant in our actions or lack thereof. Some of the trainings I have been a part of during my time in business has been about how “no one is thinking about you” when it comes to worrying about being judged. The fact is, unless you’re in the middle of a crisis, most people are quite frankly focused on their own lives to be worried about how you’re doing. It doesn’t mean they don’t care. It just means you’re not a priority.
Do you know the story of the Exodus? People who had been slaves for over 400 years. They were promised to be delivered from slavery. Then someone was sent their way to intervene on their behalf. He was sent by the one who had made the promise to begin with. When the slave owner, or dictator, promised time after time to set them free, he went back on his word and kept them in bondage. The group of people were the Israelites. The dictator was Pharaoh. Plague after plague happened, each time Pharaoh promised to let them go and each time he changed his mind. FINALLY, when he had had enough and his first born son was killed, he set them loose. Some details to mention here, is that during the plagues, there came a time when the Israelites were the only people protected. During the last moment of killing the firstborn, they were spared because they trusted what was told to them. As they left Egypt, Moses and Aaron led them. God saw they may get discouraged and scared if they went the expected route so he took them the long way.
That in itself will preach. Sometimes we don’t understand the “why” because we don’t see the big picture. We only see the way that makes sense to us but we don’t know what’s ahead.
In the wilderness, unbeknownst to them as to WHY they had to take the long way, the Israelites marched boldly. They had a cloud to guide them in the day and fire to guide by night. Both stayed in front of them. I mean, this story is SO GREAT! It keeps getting better!
The Lord tells them EXACTLY what to do. He told them to turn back and go camp by the sea. He knew it would make Pharaoh think he was winning but He also knew the end of the story.
Pharaoh and his army were closing in. The Israelites see them and begin worrying. Imagine if you’d been waiting for the promise of freedom to happen and just about the time you can practically TASTE it, the other foot starts to drop. How many times have you had that happen? A prayer of some sort, a dream, a desire starts to come true and BAM the story line pivots.
The Israelites become terrified and start to blame Moses for bringing them out of Egypt just to die in the dessert. Just like humans, huh? Starting the blame game when things aren’t going the way we want or when things get difficult.
I love this part of what Moses said…..”Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. THE LORD WILL FIGHT FOR YOU; YOU NEED ONLY TO BE STILL.”
Y’all, this makes me so excited. The Lord says to Moses “why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on.” That makes me giggle. Like He’s sayin’ “tell them to get it together and get moving.” He knew what was coming even when they didn’t. Again, he told them exactly what to do. That included Moses stretching his hand over the sea to divide the waters.
Then. THEN!! The angel of God, who had been traveling in front of them, moves to go behind the Israelites. The pillar of cloud also moves behind them. The light and dark confused the Egyptians and they couldn’t follow so well. It kept them apart from the Israelites. HOW COOL IS THAT?!
Moses goes and stretches out his hand over the sea, the waters divide, and the Israelites walk on dry ground.
What happens?? The Egyptians are still on the prowl. They have been slowed down but still determined. Then the Lord takes the pillar of fire and cloud, confuses the Egyptian army, and JAMMED THE WHEELS OF THEIR CHARIOTS!! Like, God was NOT playing!
Moses is then told to stretch his hand back over the sea and the waters cover the Egyptians and every single one drowned. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.
The Israelites saw the mighty hand of the Lord displayed against the Egyptians. They put their trust in him.
There’s more to the story after this, but I want talk about how our lack of faith doesn’t change who God is! We can choose not to trust him, we can try to think we know how something should go or turn out, but it won’t change who He is.
I don’t know about you, but there have been times I have prayed for answers to my questions. Prayed for help. Prayed for healing. Prayed for direction. Prayed for wisdom. Prayed for grace. Only, while sometimes I got those things answered, it hasn’t been every single time. I am preaching to the choir, here. But we can’t say we trust God in the good times and then question his authority and power when we don’t see the outcome we want in the time frame we expect.
It’s hard to have trust these days. The media lies for a good story. Friends break trusts. Job security isn’t always so secure. People die. Kids get cancer. Babies don’t make it past the womb. Life lets us down a lot of times! It is HARD. It is DISAPPOINTING. It is HEARTBREAKING.
Having trust in the world and humans is like trying to drink water out of a straw that has holes in it. Sure, you can get some water but you lose so much that you either figure out a way to fix the holes, get a new straw, or just give up completely.
Last May we were approached by a long-time friend about adopting a baby that was due in July. We’ve always wanted to adopt and felt our family was not complete. This felt right. We pursued it without hesitation. We worked hard to get a home study done, paperwork filled out, connected with those we needed to talk to, and even our kids were so excited about having a sibling. I kept praying for peace, guidance, and told the Lord “even if…I still trust you.” I couldn’t even say the end of “even if” because there were so many scenarios. The story is not mine to tell except to let you know that we WANTED that baby. We were EXCITED and preparing to bring that baby home. The story isn’t mine to tell because that baby was not meant to be ours. It ended as a failed adoption. And despite our own desires or thoughts of fairness and what was best for baby, it was not our place to make those decisions. And so, my trust in God was put to the test. How could he have allowed us to become attached? Why would he lead us in a direction that was a desire of our heart only to have our heart broken? I told him “I said I trusted you, why would you break that trust?!” The thing is, when you say you trust that doesn’t mean you trust in the outcome. You don’t trust for what you want. You trust EVEN IF. EVEN WHEN. EVEN THOUGH. Trusting doesn’t guarantee to have the ending you want. Trusting means that you follow where you are lead, you follow the pillar of cloud or fire, you follow in the wilderness, on dry ground, and without knowledge of always knowing what is coming.
God didn’t need the Israelites to show his power and glory. But he DID use them for it. He didn’t HAVE to provide but he made a promise. He held true to his word. He was trustworthy. He is always trustworthy. He never breaks a promise.
I’ve mentioned before that I love Maverick City Music. There is a song called Promises that says “God of Abraham, you’re the God of covenant, and faithful promises. Time and time again, you have proven, you’ll do just what you say.” The chorus says “Great is your faithfulness to me. From the rising sun, to the setting same, I will praise your name. Great is your faithfulness to me.” There’s a line in the second verse that says “History can prove there’s nothing you can’t do, you’re faithful and true.”
Friend, we don’t have to know it all. And that’s a GOOD THING! As a parent, I want the best for my children. I want them safe, protected, provided for, happy, healthy. I want our homeschool land to be an environment of positivity, a love of learning. Yet, I fail. I fail them. I fail myself. That’s not to say anything against myself. I am simply human. They trust me to be there for them. They trust that I will do what I say, take care of them, love them, and be there for them. They may not always understand, but they know they can depend on me.
I know my children trust me. That is a HUGE responsibility that I will likely mess up at some point, though unintentionally.
That being said, in the song, Promises, it says “I put my faith in Jesus. My anchor to the ground. My hope and firm foundation. He’ll never let me down.”
We may not see the pillar of cloud or fire. We may not see the jamming of the chariots. But we can trust that He will not let us down. He never has. He never will. As Moses said “we need not be afraid. The Lord will fight for us; we need only be still.”
What is it that you’re struggling with today? Is your trust faltering because you don’t understand things happening around or to you?
I don’t know why our adoption had to fail. I don’t know why, despite praying that I wouldn’t have to lose another child, that God still allowed this to happen. I don’t know why I’ve endured so many losses. In those times when my faith falters…..in those moments when YOU don’t understand. When you are afraid. When you are crying out in pain. You can rest in the knowledge that EVEN THEN, He loves you. He is with you. He is a faithful friend.
You’re not perfect. But He is. This will be an episode that I, myself, will likely have to listen to many times.
If you’re struggling in your homeschool, be still.
If you’re struggling in your health, be still.
If you’re struggling with anger, bitterness, confusion, doubt, faith, be still.
The Israelites weren’t perfect. They whined, complained, doubted. They felt all the things we have felt. But EVEN THEN. God was there in the middle of it all and He’s in the middle of it all with you.
I am hoping this podcast finds its way to someone who may be needing some positivity with her faith, homeschool, health or life. If that’s you, you’ve found a friend who understands. If you have someone in mind that might relate, please share this podcast with her.
I’d love to connect so make sure to subscribe so you can get alerts for new episodes. You can also find me on Facebook and Instagram or send me a quick hello over at imperfectlypollyanna.com! I’ve put that in the show notes for you. Remember, you are loved and I am GLAD you are here. See you next time!